Consume me from the inside out Lord

"A glad heart makes a cheerful face" -Proverbs 15:13

A glad heart (inside) makes a cheerful face (outside).

So much of the time we believe that in order to change the inside, we must change the outside first. -ex. makeovers, plastic surgery, make-up, weight loss, hair cut/color, tan skin etc. We have been tricked into thinking that if we could fix these things on the outside that it would result in long lasting inner happiness and satisfaction. For example, we might think things like "oh if I would just loose twenty pounds, then I will have more confidence and wont struggle with the things that I do now."

The world is all about extreme makeovers home edition and people edition, what not to wear, my super sweet sixteens, beauty pageants, ALL which focus on a renovation of the outside. From the magazines on the checkout isle at the grocery store to the one liners on the beauty products, this illusion of guaranteed happiness from superficial things is all around us. Its interesting to me, because most beauty pageants advertise bringing confidence to girls of all ages through cakey makeup, tan skin, perfect teeth, slim bodies, and beautiful gowns.

The kingdom of the world says, "do all of this and it will bring you this promised confidence".

When I would see pictures of girls in beauty pageants or fashion shows I would immediately start comparing myself to them. Before long, my mind would be in the jail of insecurity utterly dissatisfied with who I was, and I would have a long mental list of all the things I could do to change who I was to become like the image or person that I saw.

We need to recognize the captive mindset that this is and look at what our Heavenly Father says about our image and confidence.

The kingdom of God says, no no. Your confidence comes from knowing who you are in me. Something that you don't have to put on, make tanner, make whiter, or hairspray on you. It's solely rooted in knowing who you are in me and walking in that identity.

May your soul be at rest knowing your identity is in Christ. Recognizing that there is nothing that you can do to make that identity worth more and nothing to make that identity worth less. Your identity rests in Him, you are His.  He holds you at the apple of eye. (Zechariah 2:8) He sees you as fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) You are made in the image after the God that spoke and light existed (Genesis 1:27).

So everyday may we choose to live in this identity, allowing the God of the universe to consume us first from the inside, so it overflows to the outside.

Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. - Psalm 34:5

Be filled with My joy

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones"
-Proverbs 17:22

What kind of heart do you have as you do ministry? I was thinking about the life of Jesus and He never did ministry because "that's what the Father had on the schedule to do that day." He did it from the love he had from knowing and worshiping the Father. He did it out of gratitude.

He did it out of joy.

Likewise, I believe the same applies with us. When we go feed the homeless, care for our sick family member, serve our community, or go on a mission trip overseas, do we find joy in what we are doing or are we just doing it out of obligation or because "that's what the church had planned that day"?

God wants us to serve Him with JOY. This joy talked about in the bible is so powerful that it has the ability to strengthens us. ("the joy of the Lord is our strength"- Nehemiah 8:10). I believe one of the greatest things that I have learned about joy is that so much of the time the enemy wants to steal our joy because he knows that the joy of the Lord is our strength. The enemy wants to weaken us so he goes after our strength and attempts to cut off the source of that strength which would be our joy.

So guard your joy, for from it flows your strength. And ask yourself today, whatever you may be doing, how will I show joy?

Father, I want to be good medicine.

Waking in victory

So much of the time when I am tired I find myself asking God "God please give me the strength to go do _____". But I'm finding that God doesn't necessarily provide the strength right then and there. He waits and anticipates our action and our willingness to push through our immediate feelings right then and there. Then, once I fight against everything my flesh does not want to do and am obedient to what He is calling me to do, I then find the strength that I was asking for. Not only that, but I asked for strength and I realized He gave me victory.

The battle is real, will you choose to walk in victory?

Experiencing the nearness of God

You alone are faithful
You alone are true
You alone are life
which darkness cannot break through
You alone are savior
yes You set me free
when I'm tired and broken
it's you alone I need
my circumstances will change
and my comforts will fail me
my expectations will let me down
but your nearness is always
it's as smooth as the morning sea
yes when I'm tired and broken
it's your nearness that I need to see.

Come into my garden and take delight in me.

Delight- a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment. (joy).
Something that gives great pleasure.

God so deeply desires for us to take delight in Him. the only thing that satisfies, the only thing that gives everlasting pleasure. This is the echo of Eden, the message of come back to me, rest in me, delight in me my child. For in me and only in me you find true satisfaction in who you are. I am Emmanuel- God with you till the end of the ages. There is nothing you can do to make me love you more and its impossible for me to love you less. Sit at my feet, take delight in my love.

My office is manifold.
My promise is sure.
My life is matchless.
My goodness is limitless.
My mercy is everlasting.
My love never changes.
My word is enough.
My grace is sufficient.
My reign is righteous.
My yoke is easy.
My burden is light.

May we takes great delight in the King, the one who takes deep delight in us.

A glimpse of Costa Rica

If I had to summarize my experience in Costa Rica in one sentence it would probably be “experiencing beauty in its most raw form.” God really took me on a journey of “redefining” what true beauty is. From the breath-taking landscape of the country to the captivating relationships built with the “natives” that my team and I came in contact with, it was all merely a glimpse of the beauty of the One who created it all. 

While in Costa Rica, my team and I did a wide variety of things such as medical clinics, teaching English

,working with the homeless, children’s ministry, and working with the Salvation Army.

My team and I have numerous astounding stories that I would be doing an injustice to them to try and explain each one to you over writing. For some it’s impossible to write out what I saw in the moment and the heart wrenching effect it had on me after, and others there are not enough words to write. One of the most incredible things was to see God work the most in our weaknesses. Also, just realizing just how big of a God we serve. He is so much bigger than any program we could do and He is fully capable of working through our brokenness and flaws. Through our weakness He proves His power, and through His power He proves His worthiness. We serve a God who takes our brokenness aside and makes it beautiful J

Another main thing that we did was partner with the Youth with a Mission campus in Costa Rica for bible distributions. The heart behind bible distributions is leaving people with one of the most influential tools here on this earth: that being Gods word, and really believing in the power it has to change lives. We would divide into small groups of three to five people and go house to house and give people a Bible. Most people out in the rural areas of Costa Rica lived far apart so it would be about a mile or two just to get to one house or village. It was amazing to see with my own eyes the incredible impact that the word of God can have on people who have nothing. It was also remarkable to see how here in the States I see people that have everything yet seem to have nothing, and then going overseas and seeing people who literally have nothing, yet because of the gospel poses everything. Some wept with joy when they received it and many graciously invited us into their homes. They would give us fresh fruit or juice and would just want to know more about who we were and why we were there. One thing I noticed is that many would immediately start reading their new Bible as we were leaving.

One day when we were in the mountains of Costa Rica, we came to this house in a remote village and said our famous line, “Oope, tenemos una biblia gratis para usted.” or, “Hello, we are here with a free bible for you”.  This older man came out and his body language made him look bothered. He began to criticize us for what we were doing, and he asked me, “Where in the Bible does it say that you are to go out and give out Bibles to other people?” So, I paused and then begin to explain to him the power behind Gods word and the calling my team and I felt to participate in giving out His word to Costa Rica.  After talking with him for about 20 minutes, he was still continuing to question/criticize us, and he did not want a Bible. So my group and I decided to move on to the next house.  Right as we were leaving, I heard God’s voice say, “Stay with this man and receive my heart for Him.”  So, I paused, and wondering if that was really God, I set my things down and returned to the man.  I just sat and listened to him, and tried as best as I could to answer his questions.  After being with him for a little bit he started to calm down and his whole demeanor started to change.  Towards the end of our conversation, he paused and said to me

“You know, I believe God sent you all the way from the US to my house to talk with me and give me this Bible.”

It was so encouraging to hear because it really gave me a revelation of Gods individual pursuit for His people, specifically that man in a remote village in the mountains of Costa Rica, and just how far He is willing to go to reach one person: the innate beauty of Gods quest for the lost.

Overall, what has happened to me over the past five months is truly life-changing. I feel as if I have been utterly ruined for the Gospel. The best way I can describe my life before was like an upside-down snow globe. I had all my “snowflakes” in one place, all my plans and dreams for my life in one place. God then, by me surrendering to Him, through the course of the school and being on mission, takes it and turns it right side up and what looks like chaos is really everything beginning to find its place in my life. I see things now that I didn’t see before, I have a forever changed world view and perspective that I didn't have before and precious faces entrenched in my memory that I cannot seem to forget. I see the raw beauty of the splendor of our King as I stand enthralled in the mist of the divine chaos of my once upside down snow globe.

As for my next step, I feel like the Lord is leading me to do a secondary school in January called “School of Evangelism.” I don’t believe He is finished with me at Youth with a Mission and it is clear that He has not told me to leave. I believe what I am learning here at Youth with a Mission and on the mission field are unforgettable experiences and are preparing me for what He has for me in the future. I also believe that what I have been given these past five months is not just for me but for the edification of the believers and encouragement to the non-believers. So with that, I hope and pray that all feel edified by reading this, and elated see how God has used your support and prayers to be a part of kingdom building here on this tattered earth.

While I'm Waiting

Recently I have decided to give up dating in highschool. Its been a hard but thought out choice that I have commmitted myself to. I thnk alot of times girls in highschool tend to become so foucused on having a boyfriend and getting that attention from any guys and in the process the attention becomes an idol to them. So much so, that we enter into relationships blindly and end up compromising ourselves and getting hurt in the end. During the three years i have been in high school i've seen this repeated incident so many times. Girls believing that the guy they are with is unique and special and theres non other out there like him. Alot of the time though our attraction to someone clouds our decision making in making the choice to date someone. When you think about it, how many relationships in highschool are two people souly getting to know eachother better? SO many times we rush past getting to know someone and jump into a relationship with no base of friendship. I think thats why many relationships only last for a few months. Attraction pulls two people in and then fades quickly. If your planning on being in a healthy relationship get to know that person and get to know his heart. You hear of marrages that last over 50 years and alot of times we think "how do they do it?" or "How are you able to stay with someone that long through the 80+ fights, 20+ slammed doors, 1258+ appologies and  the 154 +misunderstandings?" Attraction in that case would have only lasted through the 87th appology or the 13th slammed door. Its the rooted friendship that keeps a couple together in the end. I once heard my pastor talking about what he tells his son when treating girls. He tells him to trerat every girl  he comes in contact with like they are someones wife. Because eventually in the future they will be someday. How would you like it girls if some God showed you the guy you were going to marry in the future today and they were in a steady compromising relationship with a girl? If you are entering a relationship always ask yourself "could i see myself with this guy in the future?" becuase if there is no goal such as marrrage then the relationship is most likely unhealthy and not one comes out of it without the other being physically or emotionally hurt.   I strongly believe theres someone out there that God so perfectly made for me. Someone whom on my own I could not pick out. So in the meantime, put your complete trust in Him and have faith that on his timing it will happen. Girls start praying for your husbands now. How amazing would it be if you started praying now; then when you meet eachother and realize hes the one, you would be able to tell him you were praying for him long before ya'll even met.

I know waiting is hard but its written over and over again in scripture to trust in him and remain hopeful. And when that moment comes, it will be well worth all the ones waited.


Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight
Proverbs 3:5-6